Saturday, October 29, 2005

No testicular cancer

It's been a little while since I wrote in here.  I have been writing in my other journal, and sometimes I forget what I wrote in which one, lol.  I am going to have to go back and take the things that I wrote in the other one (SometimesIThink), and put it in here, just to update this one.  But for now, I will just have to put yesterday's news in here.  I talked to Ruth Martin, Dr. Claxton's nurse yesterday.  She said they were sending John's bone marrow biopsy results to the Mayo Clinic for cyogenetic testing.  I don't even know what that means.  I think I will look it up when I get done here.  She said it will have something to do with when John will get the BMT.

Okay, last entry I said I was going to tell you all a "funny".  Well, it turned out not to be so funny.  When John was almost asleep, I asked him a question.  He answered me.  And then I said, "Oh Honey, I love you."  He replied, "You are my favorite bone marrow transplant!"  "What?" I inquired.  "You are my favorite bone marrow transplant," he said again.  Then he went to sleep.  I thought it was funny at the time, but I don't now.  The poor guy has bone marrow transplants on his mind.

And he was under the influence of morphine.  It hadn't worn off yet.  The next day he told the admistrative person when we went into the hospital to get the procedure to see if he had another kind of cancer (you remember he he had to go in the next morning to see if he had another cancer, don't you?) that he wanted his father in Florida to be his emergency contact (instead of me).  He also told her he wanted his dad to make any end of life decisions for him.

Needless to say I was floored.  I asked him, "You mean to tell me, if you have to have an operation, you want your dad to make any decisions?  And what about when I go with you for the bone marrow transplant?  How is your dad going to make those decisions???  He won't even be there.  And he doesn't even know your wishes like I do."  

John growled at me.  "Why are you doing this to me?  First you want me to get a haircut and now this!"

I walked down the hall with him in silence.  We sat on a bench.  I was beside myself.  How would we rectify this one?  If John had to have surgery to remove this new cancer or whatever this was and I wasn't even his emergency contact, then who was I???  And what about when the bone marrow transplant came up?  This was insane.

He was called down the hall into a room.  I just started to quietly sob.  A woman on the bench put her arm around me.  "What's wrong she asked?"  "It's not the fact that he will have to have another operation for whatever he has," I said, "And it is not even the fact that he has two cancers already," "or that he needs a bone marrow transplant," (this poor woman had to ask, didn't she, lol), "but the bone marrow biopsy really stressed me out yesterday.  And he is being mean today and won't let me be his emergency contact!"  "Oh, a bone marrow biopsy," she said.  "Was he given morphine?"  "Yes,"  I answered.  "Well, then don't believe a word he says.  Morphine makes you mean.  Besides, he won't even remember what he said to you later."  So I was able to calm down.  I dried my eyes before John came out and was ready to go.  I was hoping she was right.

Two hours later John and I were eating in the hospital cafeteria.  "John, who would you like to be emergency contact for you while you have any surgery or are in the hospital?  Including your BMT?"  "Oh my, you," he quickly replied.  "And who would you like to help carry out end of life decisions, if it ever came to that?"  "ONLY you," he said emphatically.  I said "John, do you recall telling the nurse you wanted your dad to do it?"  "What are you talking about?" he asked.  Never mind, I said.  So I guess morphine makes you say crazy things, do crazy things, even makes you mean...

And by the way, John does not have testicular cancer like they thought he might have, instead it is a hydrocele.  It will eventually need surgery, but at least it is not cancer.  Thanks everyone who prayed. :)       

22 comments:

  1. Yep drugs can make you very strange. I know about this!
    Reading as always. {{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}

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  2. You see Krissy, I told you it was not cancer but more likely a hydrocele.  Praise the Lord, he does give me insight sometimes.  I can imagine that morphine will do strange things to people and so glad everything is back to normal.  God bless you both xxxxxx

    http://journals.aol.co.uk/jeanno43/JeannettesJottings/

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  3. I know what morphine does to people , my partner has sickle cell anaemia and is often on morphine, pumped straight into the stomach by syringe pump. It's hard to understand or tolerate the meanness. Hope John is feeling better now. Love to you both. Jeannettexx.

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  4. awww just keep that in mind for the next time he is on those drugs.  I hope he went back and corrected his wishes with that nurse or that office. (((HUGS)))

    Much Love,
    Mary

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  5. Praise God for little miracles!  Now that's one less thing you have to worry about.  We'll just keep on praying, love.  Blessings, Penny

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  6. Praise the Lord; thank you Lord for prayers answered (I did pray about this Krissy and I prayed it would be nothing serious - and hydroceles aren't super serioius - lots of men have them).

    Does John have a Living Will or something else, whatever your state calls them, that lists end of life issues type thing? It  might be good when he is not on morphine to discuss these things and get them in writing for both of you.

    I think that lady was placed there by the Lord to talk with you and comfort you.

    betty

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  7. Praise the Lord John proved them wrong:) Make sure you have a living will and Power of atturney (sp) most hospitals have the paper work. I am so glad i am jumping for joy

    Deb

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  8. Relieved to hear John's latest news. Sending hugs. Take care.
    Sylvia xx

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  9. I`m so relieved to hear that it`s not another cancer Krissy.   I remember what morphine did to my Dad, so yes, it does make people say and do things they wouldn`t normally.  Take care both of you. :-)

    {{{{{HUGS}}}}}


    Sandra xxxx

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  10. I have been on morphine before and yes it does bring out the mean side of anyone. I was so rude to my mom while I was on it for my surgery and I have regrets about that. I do remember what I said. However I might have not been on the amount he was on. I am so happy that lady talked to you. Hugs Brandie

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  11. What a rollercoaster ride, Krissy!  Wow!  I'm thankful that Julie is allergic to morphine.  I'm glad John doesn't have testicular cancer.  Two thumbs up!
    Hugs,
    Judith
    http://journals.aol.com/jtuwliens/MirrorMirrorontheWall

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  12. Oh wow....what you must have gone thru over this.  I'm glad it was the Morphine.  It was a blessing that the lady came up to you and you could talk with her.  I'm glad she knew to tell you that Morphine could do this.
    Krissy, you are so awesome.  Hang in there.  
    Sonya

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  13. Hopefully this rollercoaster ride you have been on will  now get better...I hope so..Ally

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  14. The lady was right Krissy and I'm glad she was sitting there.  Am so pleased there is not other cancer. Always thoughts sent ((( ))) Rache xx

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  15. that wonderful news and you two deserve some happeness i pray you get it

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  16. So glad that you got some good news!

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  17. Thank goodness the Morphine wore off.  That drug can be nasty.  :-)

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  18. Sorry it has taken me so long to get here...but I am happy all went well...and he does not have another cancer growing..that was something about what being under that drug can make you say....I agree with you, that must be all he thinks about and also what a wonderful wife he has...hugs Krissy...take care and give John a hug from me too.
    Joyce

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  19. Sorry it has taken me so long to get here...but I am happy all went well...and he does not have another cancer growing..that was something about what being under that drug can make you say....I agree with you, that must be all he thinks about and also what a wonderful wife he has...hugs Krissy...take care and give John a hug from me too.
    Joyce

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  20. Krissy..make sure you and John get a DPOA and advanced Directives..and soon...make sure all his doctor and family and hoispitals and you have a copy...when he is not under the influence of the morphine..you can get them done through the hopital ocial worker ..usually free..and have John be vry pecific on what he does and doen't want done and tell him to be positive hi docs know...in ome states you can ave this done & one family member has to not agree with what he says and the document is zip..not worth a thing....I have een it happen both of you need to prtect your self and him ..alo he needs to let his family know  that what ever he chooses is his decsion......and he needs to tel them that...................Kasey

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  21. ((((((((((((((((((((((((((John & Krissy))))))))))))))))))))) Well I guess we'll just have to make allowances for "grumpy", heehee. I won't quit praying until I hear that all the c is in remission! xox Deb

    http://journals.aol.com/SassyDee50/SassysEYE

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  22. It's amazing what drugs that are there to help you "feel better" or at least help with pain, can do to your thought process. He did get all of that rectified correct? You guys remain in my prayers.

    Christy http://journals.aol.com/my3gifts/ChristysThoughts/

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