A little bit nervous

I'm frustrated.  Here it is Wednesday, and John and I still don't know the exact date of when the transplant will be.  Todd, the nurse coordinator, called me Monday morning and told me that he would tell me very soon when it would be.  He said that he might be able to tell me that very day or maybe Tuesday.  He was waiting for the donor to get back with him and let him know when he could get off from work to donate his bone marrow.  Here it is Wednesday night and no word.

I don't blame Todd, I don't blame the donor, I don't blame anybody.  Why should I?  Maybe the donor just can't arrange time off from work yet.  I am just scared is all.  My mind is getting away from me.  I am thinking, what if the donor has changed his mind?  I won't be one hundred percent settled until I hear that the donor has a date set that he will donate, and that there is a date for the transplant, and a date for John to enter the hospital.  Then I will relax.  I know I need to trust God, but it is hard to be in my position. 

Another thing that is frustrating is that some of the tests that John were supposed to have done locally were never administered to him.  He was overlooked and he fell through the cracks.  He called three days in a row this week, and they kept saying things like, "Oh, we stuck your orders in your file, we will pull them out, so we can have those tests done."  The next day John called and the nurse said she would check and see what was going on and she would call him back.  She never did.  Same thing with today.  If these tests aren't done John can't get the transplant.  They have to be done and read in time for the transplant.  They better get on the ball, as we don't want the transplant to be delayed over such ineptness.

Speaking of tests, John and I are returning to Hershey tomorrow so he can get another bone marrow biopsy.  They are going to do "staging of his cancer" so they can have a baseline for the future after the transplant, to see if he is cured.  

I have decided to be in the room with him, because he asked me too.  Maybe I shouldn't do it this time, but he really wants me to.  So I just won't look.

Well, that's enough for now, I gotta go, John and I are going to have a chocolate cake with cream cheese frosting.  It was his birthday yesterday and we want to celebrate.  We also rented a movie.  It should be fun!  He is 44.  I will come back after the appointment tomorrow and let ya'll know how it went.

Blessings, Krissy :)