Sunday, September 4, 2005

My first entry

This journal is about John. I wanted to keep you all informed about him. It is also about me. I needed a private place to get out my feelings. I have a few close people in my life who don’t accept that I can have feelings, that don’t like me to show feelings; so I am making this journal private so that as I write I don’t feel constantly censored by them, and can write freely. But I wanted to invite each one of you that I have invited. Stay with me if you would like. Or drop in on occasion.

I guess I’ll start at the beginning. John and I met seven years ago, in the summer of 1998. We became very fast friends. Two months later we started dating.

And two months into our beautiful courtship John was diagnosed with Non Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. Stage 3B. I’ll spare you all the details. I’ll just say that he was told it was terminal, but would be given chemo, to live as long as possible, in hopes that a cure for cancer would be found in the meantime. Well, my determined John fought off the Non Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, and has been lymphoma-free for 6 years! He showed those doctors!

But a terrible thing has occurred. The very chemo that wiped out the Non Hodgkin’s Lymphoma gave him a new cancer. Yes, an entirely different, second cancer. It is called Myelodysplastic Syndrome (MDS). It is also known as Myelodysplasia. It is a type of bone marrow cancer.

I would be lying to you if I told you I understood what bone marrow cancer was. I read and reread the definition and can’t understand it. But I am trying to learn as much as I can to help John with his illness, and to help him prepare for his bone marrow transplant he will need in the future. I will write more about the bone marrow transplant soon, but I think this is getting long enough for now.

I hope everyone is in doing ok, love, Krissy

Posted by at

44 comments:

  1. AnonymousSeptember 5, 2005 at 9:16 AM

    Hi Krissy.  Hi John!!  Glad you see you started this up :-).  I am sure this will be catharctic for you! xox

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousSeptember 5, 2005 at 9:40 PM

    Well, I'm glad I finally made it here, hon.  I am glad you have invited me to share the journey with you.  Love Penny

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousSeptember 5, 2005 at 10:15 PM

    Hi Krissy, thank you for the invite, I will be stopping in to read more about John's journey with mds and yours as his love and support system.

    ~  www.jerseygirljournal.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousSeptember 5, 2005 at 10:25 PM

    Krissy, of course I will read your private journal.  
    Thanks for including me.
    I have a friend whose new husband had non hodgkins lymphoma and it was probably about the same time frame.  He too is now cancer free.  While I would never mention this to my friend, unless I thought there was a problem with his health, I still wonder if this happens a lot to patients with non hodgkins lymphoma.  Is this something they are discovering happens with chemo?

    Have a good week, Krissy.
    Sonya

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousSeptember 5, 2005 at 10:42 PM

    I am so proud of you for handling this and sticking by Johns side.
    Too many married couples are not listening when they say their vows on wedding day, especially the part about "In Sickness and In Health"

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousSeptember 5, 2005 at 10:46 PM

    Krissy,
    I feel very honored to be invited to this journal. You are an amazing woman to me. Not only are you being a great support to the lov eof your life...you lift us up in the process! Incredible.
    We are here for you. You take advantage of this, there may be a day that you need that lift. There are plenty here...use us.
    Blessings
    Jodi

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousSeptember 5, 2005 at 10:54 PM

    Krissy!

    How horrible to fight off one thing, only to get another!  But that's also what gave him these last 6 years! so when he gets his BMT he will go on from there!  keep ur chin up and always hope for the best!  my thoughts are with u, hang in there, he's a fighter!

    liza

    http://journals.aol.com/philadlfiagrl/lizaslife

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousSeptember 5, 2005 at 10:56 PM

    Thanks for inviting me to your private journal, Krissy.  Everyday they find new medicines and treatments for cancers.  Let's pray that John will be blessed with a cure soon.  Have you checked with the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Center in Seattle ?

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousSeptember 5, 2005 at 10:59 PM

    I'm both honored and delighted to accept your invitation to your private journal.  Count me among the ranks of your biggest *online* supporters and admirers.  Much love to you and John.
    Best,
    Judith

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousSeptember 5, 2005 at 11:15 PM

    And we hope and pray for his total healing. What a love story.
    Angela

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousSeptember 5, 2005 at 11:16 PM

    You and John are in a tough spot.  Glad you have each other. Thanks for letting me follow along. Love to you. Chuck

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousSeptember 5, 2005 at 11:30 PM

    My Dear Krissy,

                        Thank you for inviting me into your private journal.  Yes you do need a private place to get out your feelings and I will be here for you. Tell John that I have very good bone marrow if we match.  Its full of good humor and all sorts of stuff.    My prayers are with you        

                                                                        Love to you both
                                                                         
                                                                            MoodyMyke

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousSeptember 5, 2005 at 11:45 PM

    Thank you for your invitation Krissy and John.  I will enjoy, if enjoy is the word to use, talking about John's ordeal with this disease.  Just taking things a day at a time, will keep you both able to inform us of the situations progress.   Take care, and God bless,    mark

    ReplyDelete
  14. AnonymousSeptember 5, 2005 at 11:45 PM

    Thank you for the invite.  I am praying every day for his total cure and healing with this disease.
    Hugs,
    xoxo
    Heather

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2005 at 12:02 AM

    IT IS WONDERFUL YOU CAN HAVE THIS JOURNAL TO POST YOUR INNERMOST FEELINGS...YOU HAVE A GREAT SUPPORT BASE HERE IN j-lAND AND I KNOW GOD IS GOING TO BLESS YOU AND jOHN ...PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF THERE IS EVER ANYTHING I CAN DO TO HELP jOHN IN ANY WAY...MY EMAIL IS courtenaymphelan@aol.com

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2005 at 12:05 AM

    Thank you Krissy for inviting me in your Journal. Bless Johns heart and yours too. I will be praying for you both. The Lord is the Master Healer.

    Blessings
    angelrose

    ReplyDelete
  17. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2005 at 1:19 AM

    Thank you for the invite I feel blessed.  You and John are amazing.  My prayers are with you both.

    Terra

    ReplyDelete
  18. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2005 at 1:45 AM

    Thanks for the invite.. and I will drop by often.. Everyone needs to vent their feelings.. :) *hugs* Mel

    ReplyDelete
  19. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2005 at 2:58 AM

    Hello Krissy and John thank you for inviting me to read your journey. I have added it to my alerts. :) Praying for you both

    Deb

    ReplyDelete
  20. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2005 at 3:03 AM

    Thank you Krissy for sharing you innermost thoughts with me...We all need somewhere like this at times in our lives...Give John a big hug from me - my thoughts are with you both Ally xx

    ReplyDelete
  21. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2005 at 3:17 AM

    thank you for sharing this and for inviting me. I constantly send thoughts and prayers to you and John and will continue to do so. Love sent to you both.......Jules xxxxxxx
    http://journals.aol.co.uk/jules19642001/Itsmylife/

    ReplyDelete
  22. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2005 at 4:30 AM

    Thanks for inviting me Krissy....my thoughts are with you both and although I'm not always able to comment I always read your journals :)

    Love and hugs, Amy xxx

    ReplyDelete
  23. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2005 at 5:05 AM

    Thankyou Krissy for the invite. It's so sad that John has been fighting this for so long and so soon after you met. I'm sure it has helped him to have a lovely wife like you to be there with him. Let's pray that one day they will find a cure for this.
    Love Jeannette xx.

    ReplyDelete
  24. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2005 at 5:16 AM

    Krissy, starting this journal will be so good for you.  Just let your feeling out in the this journal.  You know we are all in your's and John's corner and are cheering your on.

    Don't forget, besides the cheers you'll get some hugs as well.

    ReplyDelete
  25. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2005 at 6:24 AM

    Krissy,
    How scary it must be to see John go through all this again, after beating one cancer.  But, I know there is a large bone marrow bank and hopefully he will match one of those.  Other family is of the best match most of the time, of course.  But since that may not be available, we will hope.

    Thanks for inviting me to read your private journal.  I will treasure it and hope I might say something that will help you or John.

    I will be praying for a match.  Since I have been in the bone marrow bank for sometime, I hope I match.  I would gladly give up some healthy marrow for John.

    -jan

    My daughter just ask about John, she was reading over my shoulder, and I told her about him.  Her comment, "He will beat this too."  So there you go.

    ReplyDelete
  26. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2005 at 6:26 AM

    Thank you for eltting me share with you

    ReplyDelete
  27. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2005 at 6:33 AM

    Thank you for inviting me Krissy, I shall be dropping by xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  28. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2005 at 6:38 AM

    Hi Krissy,
    Thank you for adding me...and for you having this private journal I think it will be good for you.  You will be able to open up to those who truly care about you and John...and I for one do!
    I will be back, as often as I can with positive thoughts for the both of you...hugs and prayers...
    Joyce

    ReplyDelete
  29. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2005 at 7:09 AM

    Thank you for adding me Krissy. I truly hope only good things for John and you. I will keep you guys in my prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  30. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2005 at 7:12 AM

    Hi Krissy. . Hi John. . thank you for inviting me to share your Johns Journey. . .I will be with you all the way.Best Wishes to you both.Prayers and thoughts of you are still ongoing

    ReplyDelete
  31. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2005 at 7:14 AM

    Krissy,
    Thanks for the invitation to your private journal. I promise to stop by often, leave a comment and a hug or two. Think this journal is a good idea, you need a place to vent. Take care, my friend.              ~Deborah

    ReplyDelete
  32. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2005 at 7:31 AM

    Dearest Krissy,
    I am honored that you invited me to share this journal with you.  I continually have John and you in my prayers.  I am here to support you in any way you need.  Love you both, LuAnne

    ReplyDelete
  33. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2005 at 8:20 AM

    Thank you for inviting me to read your private journal Krissy.  
    Of course you must have a place to write freely about your feelings.
    ((((( Krissy and John ))))), always hugs :o)
    Sara   x

    ReplyDelete
  34. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2005 at 9:03 AM

    I feel honored that you would invite me to share in your private journal about John.  My heart breaks that you both are having to face this.  I am keeping you in my thoughts and my prayers.  God Bless You.

    Susan
    http://journals.aol.com/rjet33/CountryLivingSouthernStyle

    ReplyDelete
  35. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2005 at 9:34 AM

    Thank you for inviting me Krissy, I'm honoured.  A sounding wall for thoughts is a good idea especially when dealing with a lot of things at one time. Plenty (((( hugs ))) and thoughts sent always. xxRache  

    ReplyDelete
  36. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2005 at 11:32 AM

    Thank you for inviting me!  I am glad you have chosen me to journey with you in this horrible ordeal.  Vent all you want/need.  I am hear to listen!  JAE

    ReplyDelete
  37. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2005 at 11:35 AM

    Hey Krissy!

    First of all- thank you for the invite to this very special journal.

    You are allowed to have feelings and should feel free to express yourself.
    I believe this journal will help you deal with John's illness.
    When you are scared and need someone to confide in, you should feel free to do it here, in John's journal.
    I myself am very confused as to what MDS is exactly. This is not the first time I've heard of this horrible disease.
    The fact that John beat his original cancer and has survived by 6 years is indeed a very positive thing.

    I pray that John and you can stay strong during this trying time in your lives. This is a true test of faith.

    Huggs n' love to you both-
    Niki

    ReplyDelete
  38. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2005 at 12:10 PM

    thank you for thinking eneough of me to invite me to your privite journal of course you need a place to write your feelings and vent who would not we are all human you are both still in my prayers God bless kelley

    ReplyDelete
  39. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2005 at 2:40 PM

    Thanks for inviting me..I think this is a good idea ! Perfect to have a place to vent that you dont want for everyone to see. Prayers and hugs to you and John...if I can help you reserch aything , let me know...............Kasey

    ReplyDelete
  40. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2005 at 7:37 PM

    Hi Krissy.  I am very honored to be invited to your private journal.  Thank you so much for thinking of me.  I think of you and John often, please know that.  I'll be checking in frequently.
    Susan

    ReplyDelete
  41. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2005 at 10:13 PM

    Hi Krissy, I am pleased that you have added me to your private journal list.  Non hodgkins lymphoma is one of the cancers that my father battled with before his death from stomach cancer.  He was diagnosed with metistatic cancer in 1993 and fought for 10 long years with different cancers.  He was only given 2 months to live in 93.  He was a determined man and put up a brave tough fight.  I believe our prayers and natural healing  gave him the added time by the grace of God.  I will pray for you and John and will stop in off and on for a visit..............Stormie (Here am I)

    ReplyDelete
  42. AnonymousSeptember 7, 2005 at 2:18 AM

    Thanks for inviting me to your private journal.  I think it's a wise idea - we all have different emotions and feelings and it's good to write them down and more importantly EXPRESS the feelings.  I never realized how much John has been through all ready.  All I can do is continue to keep both of you in my daily prayers.

    Monica

    ReplyDelete
  43. AnonymousSeptember 8, 2005 at 9:18 AM

    Hi Krissy,
    First I want to say thank you for inviting me to be part of this journey. It is not easy but I hope knowing that people who you feel you can feel comfortable and open up to helps you through this process....I'm honored to be part of it.
    I will be with you all the way.
    Thinking of you and John,
    Gem :-)

    ReplyDelete
  44. AnonymousSeptember 10, 2005 at 5:14 AM

    Krissy, know that you and John are in my thoughts and prayers.  Thank you for the invitation to read your journal.

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)